"Oh dear me! Why ever would a wife post something like this?"
That's because you don't have the nerve.
For the sake of the last word, my husband, whom has never blasted me online, may just start his own blog after seeing this. I made the answers as short and to the point as I could. No need in long drawn out discussions. Choose your battles. Sometimes the shortest answer is the best.
I'm often humored when someone posts a blog or Facebook status about how amazing their family is. I think that's all well and great but the truth is that most people think you are full of...well, you know.
He could blog for years about the stupid shit I say/do...but I digress...for once, this isn't about me.
It's about him. Bless his heart.
Here's my top ten list for now:
1. How many pairs of black shoes do you need?
Answer: Lots. That should cover it.
2. We already have that so why did you buy another one?
Answer: I if 'we' already had it, I would have found it.
3. Did you even look for it?
Answer: No
4. Are you helpless?
Answer: It depends on what I want to do.
5. How many bottles of lotions should you have?
Answer: See the first question's answer.
6. Do you not think we have enough scented candles?
Answer: If I did, I wouldn't have bought another one.
7. Wine again?
Answer: Yes
8. You told me this yesterday, why are you telling me again?
Answer: Shut up and pretend you haven't heard it. Besides, I'm surprised you listened to begin with and see the subject of the question above.
9. Do you have to buy something everyday?
Answer: No. I take Saturdays off.
10. Tell me again why (...fill in the current situation...)?
Answer: I stopped listening when you got to the 'why' part.
I try to be as honest about life as I can. I've been married so long that many potential arguments just turn into tolerance. Don't think for a minute I turn the other cheek and let things pass that piss me off. It's far from sad. It's true. That's the best part. I can say it out loud. Your life is what you make it. I made mine pretty damn awesome and still do.
______________________________
I'll beat him to the punch on this one...this is probably what he would put if he had a blog titled 'Stupid Sh*t My Wife Says'
1. Do we need a television that big?
Answer: Yes
2. Do we need a television bigger than the last one you bought?
Answer: Yes
3. I need another pair of black shoes (I know it's not a question).
Answer: Seriously? (There's your question)
4. OMG! Why am I on side of the road?
Answer: Did you buy gas? (*bonus* answered a question with a question)
5. Really?
Answer: Seriously
I could go on but remember, it's not about me.
