These are my personal views on this current situation. It's also my personal views on marriage, infidelity and so on...I judge no one for the choices they make.
Each and everyone of us have live with the choices we make no matter how minor in the overall scheme of things(such as what brand of tires to buy) to taking responsibility for our actions when it comes to relationship failures.
Really? Seriously? When I read the article about the woman that had an 8 1/2 year affair with a married man and then paid for billboards to be posted in major cities, I thought to myself, "What an idiot!"
How can you basically spend 8 1/2 years of your life with a married family man and then get pissed because he won't be with you? Let me get real for a minute on this...agree or disagree with me but facts are facts.
1. He was married when you started this thing!
2. He's what, 50? She's in her early 40's and wasted prime time for this guy.
3. The mistress is just stupid for posting billboards.
4. It's said she's spent about $250,000 on these billboards ($50,000 each)
5. I want to put a billboard up saying "Hey lady! He's not leaving his wife for you or he would have already. Get real and get a life! Even if he does leave her and gets with you, guess what? She's always going to be in the picture one way or another.
P.S. You are a dumb ass.
People have marital affairs. It's a fact. After almost a decade she should have gotten the picture if they were 'soul mates' as suggested on the billboards that he would have left his wife at some point. At least he admitted his affair in a public forum and was trying to be respectful enough to say that he did have the 8 1/2 year affair and it ended and they 'wished each other well'.
Not so much from what I see.
A jilted lover, yes but it's a different ballgame with you are a psychotic bitch.
She must have not thought about the repercussions of her actions or she'd never done this. I can see if she was lead to believe they'd have a future and that's one thing but after that long, she should have gotten the hint.
Some crazy psychotic women that can't get past things such as previous ex's of their current men..etc. Women need to get a grip and take control of their lives.
As a woman I can say the following:
1. You are the only person that can make yourself happy.
2. Don't depend on another person for your happiness.
3. For heaven's sake...DON'T get involved with a married man and then get mad if he doesn't leave his wife!
4. You know what they say about...why buy the cow when the milk is free
5. Where do you think that married man sleeps at night when he's not with you?
6. For the love of everything holy! If you decide you found your soul mate, put some sort of time limit on it! You know, if he doesn't divorce in the next X amount of time, I'm out of this relationship.
Then there is the trust issue. I know there are relationships that started as marital affairs that have lasted the test of time.
I don't know of any but I'm sure it's happened.
It'd play out like this:
Man: "Honey, I'm going to the store."
Woman: "Okay"
Five minutes later...
Woman: "I called your cell a minute ago and you didn't answer. Just thought I'd leave a message for you. Call me."
Fast forward...an hour later
Woman: "I've called you 27 times consecutively and you aren't answering! I know you are with HER! Why haven't you returned my calls? Are you too busy with someone else? Is it that chick from accounting with the short skirts? It must be the ex-wife playing the 'come see the kid' card. *blah blah blah blah*
Man: "Hey, I saw where you called but didn't listen to your messages yet. Are you okay? I didn't have a signal in the store for some reason..."
Woman: (thinks to herself..."I'm an idiot but do I believe he was so called in the store or do I let it go?")
It's a no win situation. After that long a woman would be an idiot to trust that man. We all have to do what we need to do to be happy. Life is too short to be miserable. After 8 1/2 years you would think she'd get the picture.
I did some research on infidelity and the different types. Here's what I found out:
Opportunistic Infidelity:
This type of infidelity occurs when a partner is in love and attached to a spouse, but succumbs to their sexual desire for someone else. Typically, this type of cheating is driven by situational circumstances or opportunity, risk-taking behavior, and alcohol or drug use. The more in love a person is with their spouse, the more guilt he/she will experience as a result of their sexual encounter. However, feelings of guilt tend to fade as the fear of being caught subsides.
Obligatory Infidelity:
This type of infidelity is based on fear. Fear that resisting someone's sexual advances will result in rejection. People may have feelings of sexual desire, love and attachment for a spouse, but still end up cheating because they have a strong need for approval. In addition, their need for approval can cause them to act in ways that are at odds with their other feelings. In other words, some people cheat, not because they want to cheat, but because they need the approval that comes along with a having the attention of others.
Romantic Infidelity:
This type of infidelity occurs when the cheater has very little emotional attachment to his/her spouse. They may be committed to their marriage and making it work but they long for an intimate, loving connection with a member of the opposite sex. More than likely their commitment to the marriage will prevent them from ever leaving their spouse. Romantic infidelity means pain for the other man/other woman and the cheating spouse.
Rarely does it turn into a long-term, committed relationship. Marital problems have to be quite severe before a spouse will leave the marriage for another person.<-big tip right here
Conflicted Romantic Infidelity:
This type of infidelity occurs when people experience genuine love and sexual desire for more than one person at a time. Despite our idealistic notions of having only one true love, it is possible to experience intense romantic love for multiple people at the same time. While such situations are emotionally possible, they are very complicated and tend to create a lot of anxiety and stress. In this case, cheating spouses, in their attempt not to cause anyone harm, often end up hurting everyone.
Commemorative Infidelity:
This type of infidelity occurs when people are in a committed relationship, but have no feelings for that person. There is no sexual desire, or love or attachment, only a sense of commitment keeps a couple together. These people justify cheating by telling themselves they have the right to look for what they are not getting in their present relationship.
It is important, for the sake of appearances that the present relationship last. The cheater does not want to be viewed as a failure so they stay in an unhappy relationship and seek to fulfill their needs outside the relationship.
That last one is just a damn shame because I know people that's been through it. It's a sad overwhelming place to be in emotionally and I've been a shoulder to cry on for a few of my close friends several times. There is nothing worse than loving someone that does not give that love back to you. People don't want to give up on a relationship they have spent their heart and soul on and yet people change. It may not be you but the other party that changes.
The bottom line is that once it's over, it's over. So don't be some damn clingy. It's very unbecoming.
He may come home to a rabbit cooking in a pot on the stove. I'm just saying...
