Honesty and Dreams

Some will say that honesty is the best policy. I'll call bull on that just based on the fact that not all people can be honest and it be, well, for the best. I, however, can be honest for the uncomfortably best. Yes, that's correct. Uncomfortably best. Inappropriate at times? Of course, but by who's standards? I have learned that living your life based on other people's standards will get you no where. Fast.

With that being said, as much as people attempt to bring me down, I continue moving forward leaving (be it physically or emotionally) people in the dust of my fearless adventures while trying to live the dream. I have dreams. I have goals. People are haters. I'm not so much a hater as a motivator. I love to see people succeed. I love to see my kids happy. I encourage that. I love to help others. I may not always have the financial means but I help in other ways. Does that make me a better person that you? Nope. I have lots of flaws. Lots of vices. I own them all.

I'm prejudice. Before you blow up and get all crazy on me, I think everyone is prejudice. I don't even like white people at times. I know Indians that don't like Indians, I know blacks that don't like blacks. There are good and bad people in every race and religion and trust me when I say, not all Christians are good. I was born and raised Baptist. Hmm...guess that makes me a hypocritical prejudicial white girl. It is what it is.


I'm living the dream. The American dream that consists of 2.5 kids, yet I'm not sure where the 1/2 child is, maybe it's buried in my soul which gives me the freedom to say what I feel and feel what I say. I'm working to live and at times feel like I live to work. People take from me and yet I still give. I give and expect nothing in return. People close to me know when I need them the most and step up.

So, excuse me while I think back to a simpler time. A time when we had 3 stations and it depended on how the antenna was directed as to what we could watch on television. A time when I recorded my favorite top 40 songs on a cassette tape during the weekend's top 40 program on the radio. Dreams were simpler then, like how I was going to meet Boy George or marry Simon Le Bon of Duran Duran. A time when I would work in my grandparent's garden. A time when my papaw saw Boy George and asked me, "What the hell is that?" Sometimes I long for those days when my mamaw would play her vinyl on her console turntable and then listen to the party line.

I read once that dreams are illustrations from the book your soul is writing about you. Maybe we should write our own books.

Wow! Life is truly what you make it.

So, my new full time job is beyond anything I thought it'd be. The staff is great, the company is great, the doctors and practice manager are awesome. My part time job is what it is. That would be solid entertainment because I make it that way. I've become comfortable enough at my full time job to let them see tiny snippets of how horribly awesome I am and was told for the first time since I'd been there..."Teresa you are in the wrong business." (This was said in a positive manner and I've heard it so many times before).

Will I ever have the nerve to step out and share it with the whole world? Maybe. Life is what you make it. I really think that fear is stopping me more than anything else. Fear of failure. However, there's never been a lesson I haven't learned from failure. Failure of a marriage, failure of birth control, failure of not putting gas in your car when it's on empty. Life has a way of teaching you lessons of what not to do. Maybe it's more that I don't want to hurt people close to me. Actually, let me take that back. Sometimes I'd like to really hurt the people close to me but my mama didn't raise a quitter and I might start and not stop.

Just putting it out there.

Maybe I'll write a book? Nope. Too many people would think it was all true and try to figure out which characters matched up with real people in my life or they'd try to figure out hidden meanings in things like murder scenes and think I want to kill people. I was told by a very wise person once, "Write about what you know and have passion for what you do and you'll go far." I know pain, humor, passion, love, lust, anger, disdain, evil, honor, happiness...

Maybe I'll be a stand up comic? Nope. Too many people would think or I should say KNOW who I'm talking about and get pissed. I mean, you can't hold back when you are dealing with tragic truth turned into humor. I would for real lose people in my life because they'd get all mad because my delivery of life events would bring laughter to others.

Maybe people should start reconsidering being my friends and family to be on the safe side.

So, I think I will write. I will get declined over and over and one day I might just get my book published. Maybe I'll collect my thoughts in a reasonable order and go to an open mic night.

Hell, there's nothing wrong with pissing people off. It seems I do a good job of that without doing any of the above. I need to work on getting passed what others think about it.

Life is what you make it and I say let's make it a party! Get your drink on because you'll need it after you read my book about lust, murder, honor and happiness. Better yet, you'll need it when I'm making fun of you all up on stage and am famous for it.

With that being said...I want to say a big thanks to those who have given me the encouragement I needed and still need. You know who you are and if you don't I'll make a list.

And you are really worried about the Royal wedding?

The aftermath of the devastating storms that have swept across the South has just been heartbreaking to see. I've heard some people try and play it down as 'not as bad as Katrina'.

Being born and raised in Alabama, I just want to clarify things when it comes to natural disasters. A hurricane you know about well in advance. A tornado can happen at anytime and any place during severe weather. It really hits home when you are from one of the devastated areas and know people there. The stories that are pouring in are tragic. Hurricanes are bad, don't get me wrong. You can't hide from a tornado when you don't know when it's coming or where it's going or even when it's going to develop.

One thing that bothers me right now is the obsession with the Royal wedding. Long after the wedding is over, people in the south will still be devastated but I bet lots of people can tell you about the bride's gown. Don't get me wrong in any way when I say that I think it's a beautiful thing for two people to be in love and even more of a beautiful thing when you believe in the monarchy. Let us not forget the reasons we exist as The United States of America. We were founded on not just pilgrims seeking religious freedoms but also independence. Independence from being ruled by a monarchy. Our nation was founded on one of the main fundamental statements ever made historically. A statement that is part of our Constitution.



We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness. --That to secure these rights, Governments are instituted among Men, deriving their just powers from the consent of the governed;

Let's think about that. All men are created equal...endowed by their Creator...etc. America's independence was more than about religious freedom. It was about understanding as a nation, we wouldn't have to worry about the 'Divine Right of Kings'. As all men are created equal. Kings are not the hand of God.

With that being said, as an American I will not forget that all men are created equal. We can lose our homes, families and lives just as easily as the next person when there is a natural disaster. Let us not forget the tragic stories of victims with more to come.

The one victim that was pulled from the pile of wood that was her home and walked down the street only to be asked for help by a little boy. A little boy that asked her to sit with his brother and him. A little boy that didn't know his brother was laying there already dead. Let us not forget the couple that was traveling down the highway and saw a tornado develop only to turn around and try to get away. After turning around, another tornado formed in front of them and the wife got down as low as she could but her husband was driving and couldn't get out of the way. She had to pull a board out of his head and just hold him while he died waiting on help to come. These are true stories. Tragic stories.

But wait...let's gorge ourselves on over publicized 'royal wedding issues' that have not one thing to do with America.

Let us not forget only a few of the victims as not all are accounted for at this time.

Franklin County:

Donald Heaps, 57, Phil Campbell

Martha Pace, Phil Campbell

Edna Lucille Nix, Phil Campbell

Kelli Thorn Morgan, 24, East Franklin

Michael Morgan, 32, East Franklin

Claudia Mojica Palucios, Phil Campbell

Edgar Molica, 8, Phil Campbell

Ricky Knox, 10, Phil Campbell

Terri Waller, Phil Campbell

Carroll Dean “C.D.” Waller, Phil Campbell

Nila Black, 68, Phil Campbell

Zan Reese Black, 46, Phil Campbell

Sonya Black Trapp, 48, Phil Campbell

Charlene Crochet, Phil Campbell

Jay Leclere, Phil Campbell

Amy Leclere, Phil Campbell

James Robert Keller Jr., Phil Campbell

Don Gentry, Phil Campbell

Patricia Gentry, Phil Campbell

Donna Berry, Phil Campbell

Jack Cox, Phil Campbell

Georgia Scribner, 83, Phil Campbell

Lawrence County:

Donald Ray, 76, Chaleybeate

Lyndon Mayes, 74, Chaleybeate

Zora Lee Hale, 80, Chaleybeate

Aurelia Guzman, 12, Langtown

O'Neal Terry, Mt. Moriah

Allen Terry, Mt. Moriah

Matthew Adams, 21, Mount Hope

J.D. Parker, 70, Mount Hope

Horace Smith, Mount Hope

Helen Smith, Mount Hope

Edward Vuknic, Chaleybeate

Mary Mayes, 72, Chaleyvbeate

Mike Dunn, 58, Chaleybeate

Marion County:

Linda Faye Knight, 57, Phil Campbell

Rodney Ables, Hackleburg

Jeanette Widemon, Hamilton

Jacob Ray, Hamilton

He11o 2011

This year's word is realization.

2010...what a year! The end of it marked the end of several things for me. The relationships I've lost, all though disheartening, are for the best. The goals I didn't reach are not left behind. In fact, there's more in store this year than ever before. My baby girl graduates from high school. I'm embarking on a new career. I've removed myself from several negative influences and life is good. In fact, it's great most of the time.

I've come to realize not everyone in life is happy. I'm not always happy. However, it's how you handle what is handed to you that makes a difference. Sometimes you have to agree to disagree and move on. Sometimes you have to speak up on what you feel is right and wrong. Yet, sometimes the people you speak to about this makes it clear it really doesn't matter to them. So, you agree to disagree and well, move on.

They say hind sight is 20/20 and I have to agree. Looking back, the relationships both professional and personal should have long been over. At times, I am a little "Pollyanna" in my thinking. I always hope for the best and look for the good in situations while knowing all the while what the outcome will be. I'm known as to be one that 'keeps it real'. However, after careful review, I've come to realize that keeping it real from a third party point of view is easier than keeping it real first person. Should it considered a weakness of mine, so be it. I'll own it because I know that's one of the only weaknesses I may have.

So, with that, I'm not going to make any "New Year's Resolutions". I'm making a new year full of realizations.

Happy new year everyone! May you have one full of realization.