See, what happened was...

It all started when I was invited to a Jimmy Buffett concert in Gulf Shores, AL by a good friend of mine. Little did I know it would turn into an experience made for a movie. I say that because if it was a 'reality' TV show, people would have thought I made it up. Why would this picture show me in New Orleans with the Mounted Patrol horse drinking my Long Island Iced Tea? Funny you should ask...

See, what happened was thanks to my part time job I can get pretty good discounts on lots of things. This includes hotels. We figured, it would only be a few hours to drive to New Orleans and we got an awesome room at an awesome price, so why not? I figured the way I see it, I work a full time job and a part time job. All work and no play makes Teresa a bitch. After my little sister visited for a few days, we got up Saturday morning packed up, boarded Rocko and headed out. Here's a run down of my personal drama and know that it was only TWO and a half days long. Yes...all of this happened in TWO and a half days.

DAY ONE

Lambert's
We all pick our battles and I gave in to this one. No need to fight when you are confined to a vehicle for 10 hours. Lambert's is a restaurant in Foley, AL. Well out of our way since we were going to New Orleans but it was a MUST according to the 3 out of 4 people in my family. They wouldn't know about Lambert's if it wasn't for the Travel Channel listing it as the #1 place to pig out. Being in Foley, we were only like 20 minutes away from my good friend in Gulf Shores but alas, after having rolls (YES like as in bread) thrown at us and gorging on the most unhealthy food anyone can eat, we continued on to New Orleans.

The Storm
Once we got back on to I-10 west bound, a storm came and I was driving. I swear I drove through a tornado. EVERYONE had to pull over because no one could see thanks to the massive swirling down pour of rain and lightning strikes.

New Orleans
For some reason, I missed my exit for the hotel. I had a wonderful non-exit missing trip the entire time. I ended up having to drive through New Orleans and not the parts you want to visit. That's when I heard some loud music. I was stopped at a traffic light and look in my side mirror. I was confused because it was a black school bus. As it pulled up the doors opened and this guy in a thong started gyrating his hips to the beat as the strobe lights in the bus flashed. It was the most awesome thing I had seen on the trip so far. To hell with throwing rolls at me. I almost threw some money at him.

We got to the hotel and valet parked because I wasn't even about to take stuff out of the van and went to our room. After relaxing for a bit, we (as in my husband and I) decided to walk the French Quarter obviously spending time on Bourbon St. We walked over to Harrah's Casino because it was in the direction we were going and only two blocks away.

Harrah's Casino
I walked in and gave them some money. They teased me and gave some back. I gave them back some money and this went back and forth. Broke even and got the hell out.

Bourbon Street
Awesome, awesome, awesome. Did I say awesome? If not, just know it is awesome! We had a great time and I let go of my anger of the roll throwing tornado driving good times we had on the way down. New Orleans is wonderful. After having a great time we were on the way back to the hotel and met some interesting people. One was a lady passing out free beer. Why? It was her birthday. She was even giving it to people passed out in doorways. She walked with us for a while talking about Chicago and a man walked by and joined our group. He took some beer and gave us his story too. He had just been released from prison the week before. He was locked up for 13 years. Now, we didn't ask what he did but the drunk lady said, "Man, what ever you did, don't do it again!" He said, "No way! I ain't going back. I miss looking at a lady and having my freedom." It was good times.

DAY TWO

Who Dat?
I have often wondered why the New Orleans Saints would want to yell, "Who Dat?". Were they trying to be ghetto? It seems they weren't trying too hard if you were near the projects. That's where I ended up when we went to visit a cemetery. Walking about a block away, I heard a woman in a house coat, sitting on an upside down milk crate on her porch (for real in the projects...how the hurricane didn't knocked that down, I'll never know). She yells, 'WHO DAT? OH HELL! DAT'S JUST RALPH AND HIS TRIFLING ASS ALWAYS TRYING TO START SHIT.'

Biloxi, MS
We stopped at a beach and enjoyed the beautiful beaches and tar balls. This was after the van pretty much stopped running for the second time. The code given was saying the MAP SENSOR was bad. I said, "There must be a reason for this. I'm going with the flow but what would cause 2 MAP sensors to go bad on one trip? What is it hooked up to?" (I know, give me a break. I don't know crap about this kind of stuff). This added about 2+ hours to our travel time making us later and later to Gulf Shores.

Mobile, AL
This is where we wanted to stop and take the kids to the USS Alabama. Due to time restraints, see above, we continued on.

Gulf Shores, AL
We made it! We made it very late but we made it. My friends were nice enough to leave a door unlocked with our tickets inside. We rushed to catch a shuttle and had to walk over a mile just to hear the last 2-3 songs of the Jimmy Buffett concert and they had stopped letting people in. I was drinking and texting and tripped on the sidewalk and jacked my knee up. The good part...I saw an alligator with creepy yellow eyes. We met up with my friends and went back to their place, jumped in the pool and relaxed. This was only after we made an attempt to get some 'local' pizza and missed it by their closing time by 5 minutes. After the pool, we decided on Pizza Hut. They didn't answer the phone so the guys drove down and guess what...they were like 5 minutes too late. They were closed. Domino's it was and at that point it was the best pizza I had ever eaten. Amy and I decided to go to Orange Beach even though it was dark but it was nice to get away from my family for a little while. We left out the next morning.

DAY TWO & 1/2

Interstate driving...
Once we were back on the interstate, the van had no more problems. It was a good trip home until we got into metro Atlanta. There was a huge storm we went through and just when the sun came out and we were close to home...

Car-B-Que
It was something about contaminated gas clogging up the catalytic converter and gas going into the exhaust system etc then back up pressure on the engine. It may possibly explain why we had the MAP sensor issues. It seems that when this happens, your vehicle fills full of smoke, your kids choke and you get the the side of the road and jump out. At least, that's what we did.

Then you become that 'stalled/possible vehicle fire on north bound on 400 at Abernathy causing delays'. That's what you don't want to hear. Thanks news helicopter for flying over and within minutes we had a 'HERO' truck come assist. The rest is tow truck and Midas history.


Yep, the rest is history including my good friend that helped us out by picking us up and meeting up with the tow truck.

Get this...I still went to work. I was 3 hours late but I went. I had to drive my husband's car. That says a lot about my work ethic...right?