So, a few years back, my husband and I decided we should get the kids a 'starter' pet. Well, after checking out things and researching animals we decided on a gerbil. (AS IN CHECKING OUT...IT WAS MORE ROBBY THAN ME BECAUSE I DON'T LIKE RATS)
They didn't eat a lot, wouldn't keep anyone awake with squeaky wheels to play in at night. So...two hundred dollars later...This was due to the fact that we had to buy two because they were 'social' animals.(Gerbils only cost about $14) They were both sisters. One was black, one was brown. That would explain the names (per my children as I wanted to name them Laverne and Shirley). As you can see from the picture, Blackie is on top and Browning is hanging out on the bottom. It seems gerbils CHEW UP plastic. Feel free to click on the pic...hopefully, it will show you that MOST of my 'formal' dinning room was for rodents.
We spent extra on a glass aquarium and THEN my ever so loving husband decided they needed an addition and bought this add on for the top that had stairs for the gerbils to climb up and have more fun.
So, we had a glass bottom and a metal addition for the gerbils but I know the top part cost around $60-$70.00. Anyway, add in food, bedding, toys, things they constantly chew up and the cost grows. It was my understanding these rat like things would only live for about 2 years. Not that I want my kids to be sad an animal died but...they were RATS to me.
We bought one of those clear balls that the gerbils could crawl around in on the floor because it was funny. What was NOT funny was when someone in the family would sneak behind me while watching TV and putting one of those gerbils on my shoulder or in my hair. They had LONG TAILS and rat features. Seriously.
Blackie and Brownie were supposed to live for about 2 years per the pet store. They lived longer. Blackie was the mean one. Brownie was nicer.
One time my daughter took Blackie out to play and did the whole baby talk thing...you know: "Whose a good gerbil, Blackie is a good gerbil, yes she is..."
Then it bit her on the nose and would not let go. It clamped on the tip of her nose. She had bilateral teeth marks on the upper and lower part of her nose for a few days. Of course, she screamed "BLACKIE IS ON MY NOSE". Being concerned parents, we did the "are you bleeding" thing...seems she was so we assisted. Blackie hung off of her nose. I mean, what are you going to do?
Well, the time came when the nicer gerbil died. I've always heard that the meaner you are the longer you live but with Brownie's death came heartache and an undertaker that concerned me. When Brownie was found dead...well the EVIL Blackie ate HALF of her head off. How gross is that? My husband called me at work and I told him to get rid of it but NO. HE BECAME THE UNDERTAKER OF GERBILS.
"What if the kids want to say goodbye?" So, he arranged Brownie on a cloth where her HALF eaten head would not show so when the kids came home they would be able to say goodbye. What the hell is that about? Bury it, flush it but to arrange a viewing, I may be cold hearted but DAMN!
So, I was at work and they had the 'funeral' which I swear killed my hydrangea bush because Brownie was buried near it. Of course, I was blamed because I didn't 'trim' the bush at the proper time for it to bloom. Whatever. I DON'T LANDSCAPE. That's just the bottom line.
For the LOVE of G-d...half of Brownie's head was missing and he arranged this dead rat so you couldn't see it. I guess it's good if you are in to that kind of thing...but not me.
I would LOVE to work in a funeral home. Many people who know me are aware of that. Gerbils...not so much.
Well, the time for Blackie to pass away came this week. I was a bad day already for me. I called home and was informed that Blackie died. I was some what non- complacent about it...however...I knew the funeral was on it's way. Before I took the kids to school, Blackie was alive. Later in the day she died.............
Her cold dead body was clenched on to the upper part of the home they lived in. That would mean her gerbil teeth were attached to the wires of the 'upstairs' part. I knew another funeral was going to happen. When Robby found it, it was already cold and he had to PRY the gerbil's mouth open to get it loose.
ONCE AGAIN.........ANOTHER GERBIL FUNERAL.
I mean, maybe I'm cold hearted but still. SERIOUSLY a funeral with a 'casket' and burial. The last straw for me was the tombstone.
I PROMISE THIS.........
If I ever move from this house and these rat skeletons are dug up and taken with us, someone will be committed.
